work

Only a week late

 
arly in the week a girl (probably early high school but maybe late primary school) asked for help finding varied sources to site for her assignment about the solar system and that was fun. She's asked a similar question about different schoolwork months back and it is not often I get asked to deploy that much educational assistance on a topic. Also interesting getting asked for help about a topic I've been relatively expert on when the appropriate response is not to display that - even if I had my...

Up and down

 
=== Ambiguity from 2017-07-13 === One of those days where I have a shift at the library starting from 17:00, so the whole day takes place in its shadow. Nonetheless I managed to achieve many of the goals I'd set for myself today. Mostly, preparation for that Pathfinder game I keep talking about. First of all, how easily I can get maps or other handout type pictures from the adventure PDFs. Turns out to be quite easy - just about as simple as right click -> save image. Editing in layers to do...

Old habits, long gone

 
=== A Lament From 2017-07-11 === Even though I'm glad not to be the weekend supervisor any more, and especially to be taking fewer shifts at the library in general (now, if only that would translate into "living my time off in a way I feel happier with") I'm still feeling frustrated at not breaking them of all their bad habits before my time was up. Mostly this bugs me because it's me who works Monday mornings and has to clean up after any errors - they're not major problems but it still causes me...

And now the weekend

 
Solitude brings memory and memory brings pain. Today, as has happened before, feeling that so much time has been lost to seeking stimulus, suppressing thought so as not to face hurt, and this must change. Yet, this revolution will not happen. The way of things will persist. Today at work - an unexpected shift, called at last minute to cover the afternoon - whenever I got moments to myself away from colleagues and from patrons I found myself fighting off sobbing. Maybe this was better than if I had...

I don’t want your unlimited vacation policy

 
Having recently (and unexpectedly) found myself on the job market, I’ve been thinking a bit about the relationship between employers and employees. There’s always this question at the end of an interview in which you’re asked, “Do you have any questions for me?” In the past, I’ve answered rather meekly, not wanting to ask anything for fear I’d come across as a “demanding prospect” and that would take me out of the potential pool of applicants. Seasoned professionals would argue,

And the world rewards you for it

 
It’s not that I’ve forgotten how to self-care, it’s that I’ve actively dismantled my ability for it, not just for days, weeks, or months, but years. There was a moment during high school where I went, “if I’m only worth my ability to work, then to hell with how I feel about it.” I became not only a hard worker, but an obsessive, relentless worker that forgot about vacations and most concepts of working hours. If it had to be done, I’d be the one to do it. This was fine for a...

That moment you look around and see the mess you're in

 
It occurred to me this morning that I've more or less stopped socializing the last few years, the last year in particular. I rarely see friends, I spend my weekends buried in projects or house upkeep. When I do see friends I'm so burned out and exhausted that I'm not all that talkative. It's understandable given that I've worked a job that I've long since stopped finding interesting. Instead of providing me engagement and interest, it merely saps my energy. I try to get some of that back in my off...

Work Journal for April 28th, 2014

 
The last week did not go well. In fact, it went just terribly. Monday the bat people showed up and sealed up the house. That was great except the bill. I knew that was coming, but it still stung and trashed the finances for the next month. I had to pull cash out of savings.  Tuesday was the funeral for Marion's Dad. I was out for only a few hours, but I was able to make a good dent in polishing the modules and generally moving things forward. The same went for most of Wednesday too. I had...

Work Journal for March 19th, 2014

 
It's hard to keep working when your laptop can't manage to type a single sentence without hanging for minutes on end.  On my bad days (which have been increasingly often given stress, fatigue, and disinterest), I can barely manage to write more than a sentence at a time myself. When I want to work, and can't because my system is acting up, it's very frustrating. Worse, I cannot transfer the documents to any other system I have because they require such a specifically licensed toolkit that...

20131107

 
Been feeling tired the past several days, and consequently not written much of anything. Tired and upset sort of thing. Did have two weeks of being called into the library as if I were some kind of 'works every day' type person. Which apparently took a toll on my ability to engage in much mental activity. Also it has been hot, like right now. So that means my NaNoWriMo attempt so far consists of one evening's writing that fell several hundred words short of the target. So on the 'bright' side I am...